Book Announcement

There are some projects that become so familiar it is hard to imagine them ever finishing. In the summer of 2020, out of personal frustration and despair, amid a polarized and isolated world, like many, I did some soul searching and began a project. It's not a home renovation, it's not childcare, it's not optometry. It's art.

I began to draw. Not individual pictures but series of pictures. Figures interacting with one another, playing out scenes. I wanted the scenes to feel real, to be honest, and to tug on our noble aspirations of being vivid, tangible supports for one another. I wanted to show moment by moment, the body language that occurs when we encounter conflict and find a way to stay present and work through it together. I wanted to draw suffering, and to draw rising with it and beyond it.

I wanted to share with as many types of people as possible. The Art of Loving is a set of techniques that I learned as a child, which are usually taught in a certain way. I felt that there was readiness for a new way, a more accessible, open, fun and captivating way for people of various backgrounds to hone in on the skills of openness and radical love of neighbor. What came out of the project is a book, 128 pages long with more than 50 illustrations.

I did not write or draw in isolation. For every illustrated chapter, it was shared with a new group of people. Two friends, three family members, clusters of people I trusted and whose opinions would strengthen the book. They were luminous moments, honest feedback, bonding times of sharing. I really believe that there is something better, wiser, more precise, that emerges when we empty our busy minds, put hopes and dreams in common with trust and listen for the new ideas that only appear when there is mutual love.

If you are one of the many people who helped me by reviewing and reflecting on this book in process, thank you. It would not have been possible without you. This is a big moment. The book is now available for order on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Living-Art-Loving.../dp/1565485432/. There is a lovely website you can visit to read an excerpt, check out my blog and learn more: livingtheartofloving.com. And there is a launch webinar event that you can watch here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tgoO0ctzIuM.

I'm feeling full of light, I'm feeling defensive, I'm feeling like people might not want to live the kind of love I'm talking about because it's too hard. But it's fantastic. It's worth it. At a certain point, you realize that it is just as hard for others to listen to you as it is for you to listen to them and so you make a bargain with the universe and decide, "Okay, I'll go first. I'll listen first. I'll love first." And in that moment is a great relief, a power in your own autonomy to change outcomes for the better.

And don't worry, this book isn't as dense as it looks or sounds. The first page of the first chapter has a large illustration and literally just FOUR words. It's short sentences that can be read quickly or that can be sat with for long periods of time to soak in. This isn't advice. I'm not saying anything you should or shouldn't do. It's designed to be descriptive and experiential, not prescriptive or didactic.

I've been impressed with the amazing people at New City Press. They're really going out on a limb to publish a book like this. It is unusual for them in so many ways--it's illustrated, it's brief text, it's written in a secular style by a Jewish author, but on a topic about which we both care a lot: The Art of Loving. Don't let yourself be limited by labels. We're all people. Most of us are good people most of the time. We might be motivated by different callings, but we want connection, we want peace, we want harmony, we want dynamic and wholesome relationships.

We all have something to give. This felt like the right thing for me to give. It used my strengths of empathy, patience, humility, rigor, precision, tenacity and cooperation. It is a product so much more good and full of goodness than I could have made on my own. I really hope you order the book. I hope you hold it in your hands and read it slowly. I hope you become immersed in the sensitive images of interactions and remember scenes from your past and goals for your future. I hope reading this book brings you and I closer together. I hope it helps you approach a situation that's been challenging in your life.

These are the tools that are most treasured to me. It is better than a memoir, it is better than tips, it is not pretending to have all the answers. It is, however, present, persistent, trying hard and starting again and again. It is a way to lift up the goodness in each of us till something better than either of of us becomes apparent. It is something I'd like to share with you.

More to come in the next few weeks! And thanks again to all who have made space for me in this process. The book looks amazing and I'm really proud of it!